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I just want to be skinny again. I want my legs to not touch. I want my ribs to poke out; my collar bones, shoulder blades, hip bones. I want to eat the way I used to eat. No “getting fat,” no guilt. I want to go back. But no, I’m a fuck up. I didn’t lose weight when I got to high school. I blew up. I’m fucked up. And I cant look at old pictures because I see how skinny I was and know I can’t even look at myself. I’m such a failure.

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